College Life : Semester 2

In the name of Allah, most gracious and most merciful, I begin my post with.

This is a live update all the way from KMKN. Basically, this is my very first time I update from the north.

Salam Maal Hijrah 1437

Assalamualaikum,

Few hours ago, we just started our new year which is in Islamic means in Malaysia. Alhamdulillah, for still being able to inhale and exhale on this awal Muharram.

One unique thing about Islamic calendar is that it did not commence with something less significant. With divine guidance, it started with the sacrifice of the early Muslims and the triumph of truth over evil. That is hijrah.

I still remember the days where I attended religious school, the part where I learned the Sirah which stands for History of Prophet. Hijrah was a journey between Makkah and Madinah, about 300 miles apart; a migration that changed the situation of the early Muslims for better. It is marked the beginning of an era, a civilization, a culture and a turning point for Muslims in history.

Basically, Hijrah as a principle that is integral to Islam, should not be relegated to a mere date; its celebration should be loud and be seen to impact positively in the lives of Muslims. Essentially, the celebration should remind us about the meaning and significance and make us to be focused on the need for absolute compliance.

The meaning of the word hijrah is often translated as “flight or migration”. It is also used to mean leaving an environment for a better environment, even though it may involve some difficulties. In this context, Allah says: “And lot believed him. [Abraham] said, “indeed, I will emigrate to [the service of] my lord.

Apart from the pomp and festivity of celebrating either the new Hijri year or the Ashurah day, even if we have to argue that there was no foundation  or evidence for its celebration, it is a time for reflection, a time for sacrifice and a time and opportunity to change from bad deeds and move to acts that will earn the pleasure of Allah.

Well, let's just pray for the best this year would be much more better than the last Hijri. Since I've returned to Kuala Lumpur, I managed to gain back my sort of positive vibes and motivation. I was at the deepest and at the lowest point during my first semester, and I had less motivation during that moment. But now, I am all ready for the next semester. This year taught me to become more matured in order to solve complex problems and stuffs and alhamdulillah I managed to face it!

Remember the last post where I exaggerated that I screwed up my exam? Alhamdulillah, HEP just announced that our results were good and wow 4.0 are everywhere! (and he was indeed happy too according to what the students said). Alhamdulillah, only Allah knows how happy I was the moment I received the news. So, I'm looking forward to much more challenging Semester 2, Insya Allah.

{Indeed with the difficulty there is an ease. Indeed with the difficulty there is an ease.} (Ash-Sharh 94:5-6)  

Road Back to Allah

In the name of Allah, most gracious and most merciful, I begin my post with.

As it may sound cliche and most people do, I will turn to back to Allah during the hardships of my life. When times are indeed happy and life seems to be so good, no one feels obliged to turn towards His Deen .It's all about living the moment.

Why am I writing this? Something came up to me last morning. I lost something valuable, which was not really extremely valuable but it can cost me a fast food. Since I am the type of person who is hard-to-let-go kind of girl, of course it was a challenging day for me to accept.

I kept looking in my pocket, bag, wardrobe and everywhere but it was gone. I remembered very well I placed in my pocket and probably I accidentally lost it somewhere in the mall. 

I came back home with a full tensed written on my face, freaked out and felt like I just lost my daughter. Though it's just a some amount of money. So there I sat, in silence and istighfar. Silence is overwhelmingly loud when you gather your chaotic thoughts, I whispered to myself. How did this happen? What if I didn't bring the money along? It wouldn't happened this way.

Maybe it is kind of reminder from Allah. Maybe Allah misses me. Maybe Allah wants to reconnect with me. I nod my head.

I remembered before my finals, I will recite Yassin everyday, practice solat hajat and so on. But when I came home, I seems to be left everything in college. Sometimes I even left my prayer times at home. Astagfirullahalazim. Then I started to realized my mistakes. During that time, I knew Allah still loves me. I mean, relationship with Allah it's not when you're having a crucial occasion, but actually you need to connect with Allah till the rest of your life. Whether it is during hardship or good times, always run back to Allah. Our creator.

Often, the things you brought you happiness are the cause of your pain and emptiness. It was bad for us, we just couldn't see until it cut into pieces. The heartaches of this world are here to remind us what we should never have attached our hearts than anything to anything other than The Creator than the first place. We search for someone who will understand and ease our pains, we cling to the creation in desperation.

Allah has told us that He is the Best Planners. Sometimes things aren't meant for us right now, their pieces don't fit. Eventually, it will fall into places. One by one, like a jigsaw.

“and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.”

(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216)

Not to worry my dear, Mira. You'll gain a better reward, Insya Allah.

Life in KMKN

Hello earthlings! It's been a while since I updated my blog and currently, I'm in the state of missing my life as a blogger. Since my college life was quite hectic *as for me*, I've never had an opportunity to update even a single thing about my college life. Even if I have a free time, I would spend myself with books and trying my best to catch up those academic concepts.

I know some of my friends, or probably most of my batch mate think that college life is fun and you can all yada yada to back and fourth. It is undeniable that I had the time of my life here, managed to gain some new friends from all over the Malaysia especially Sarawakians, and thank Allah my lecturers are super nice too. Feels like I'm still SMK student though, not a college students haha.

Deary classmates

But in the midst of journey, I've been through numerous of obstacles. Sometimes I feel like giving up along the journey. You can imagine if you were in my shoes, you've tried so hard in your studies, attempted all the questions, study everyday, but it's just your desires are not just that simple to achieve. Alhamdulillah, I've managed to score my tests recently but rather somehow I don't have that kinda high level of confidence to score well in my finals.

It's just I can't barely even set a good target for finals. Overall, I can answered my finals except I think I screwed up one paper. It's just a bad feeling when most of your friends are able to do well in examinations and they are just simply effortless. I know some of my friends who likes to hang up on the phone till midnight but still can score well in tests etc. 

Ze roomate

I would usually fill up my days will full of anxiety and sometimes I could almost depress in whatever I do. I would eagerly study when everyone is sleeping during the evening, cause I'm know I ain't that genius. I need to work hard to be establish as anyone could. I've known my standing. It's just I need to work hard, and patience.

Being a student who is bonded to MARA sponsorship is not an easy task I would say. Everybody has a super damn high expectations on you. Even at times, I think I just misfit in KMKN. 

But then I've realised, I know Allah is watching over me. I know Allah saw my efforts. I know Allah is fair. And I almost forget the formula of DUIT that stands for doa, usaha, ikhtiar and tawakal. Doa, usaha and ikhtiar are my usual routines but I tend to forget tawakal. Reliance on Allah. 

Dear Najwa Amira,

I know life in KMKN has been hard for you,

You even think that you've misfit in the institution,

But you need to strongly believe in Allah's wisdom.

Allah tahu yang terbaik untuk hambanya,
Barangkali kau mempersoalkan kemampuan kau,
Mungkin kau tak segeliga kawan-kawan kau,
Mungkin selama ni kau skor sebab kau bernasib baik,
Mungkin kau rasa kau tak bijak,
Tetapi yakinlah dengan qada' dan qadar Allah.
Allah tempatkan kau di sana,
Yakinlah tempat kau di kolej.
Sebab Allah tahu kau boleh melakukannya.

Ingat Allah, Mira.
Kembali kepada Allah.
Have a srong faith in Allah's wisdom.
Allah sedang menguji kau.
Allah uji kau sikit je.
Dengan segala nikmat dan kemewahan yang kau dapat,
Takkan kau nak mengeluh dengan ujian yang seciput tu?

Mana Mira dahulu yang tak pernah kenal erti putus asa?
Penat lelah?
Mana Najwa Amira yang dahulu?
Come back Najwa Amira.
Be positive and have reliance on Allah.

Najwa Amira,

Do you remember what your best friend told you before you entered KMKN?

"Najwa, kat sana nanti awak jangan fokus sangat kena compete dengan budak-budak MRSM/SBP semua tu. Apa yang penting, awak fikirkan untuk buat yang terbaik. Insya Allah Allah akan nampak usaha awak. Kalau tak awak akan rasa down" - Debator friend

Memang kita cepat down pun. Need to bear in my mind your advice, Izzati. Whatever happens, you've done your job Mira. Biar Allah pula lakukan tugasNya. May I remain in college till I complete my foundation. Amin.