Life in KMKN

Hello earthlings! It's been a while since I updated my blog and currently, I'm in the state of missing my life as a blogger. Since my college life was quite hectic *as for me*, I've never had an opportunity to update even a single thing about my college life. Even if I have a free time, I would spend myself with books and trying my best to catch up those academic concepts.

I know some of my friends, or probably most of my batch mate think that college life is fun and you can all yada yada to back and fourth. It is undeniable that I had the time of my life here, managed to gain some new friends from all over the Malaysia especially Sarawakians, and thank Allah my lecturers are super nice too. Feels like I'm still SMK student though, not a college students haha.

Deary classmates

But in the midst of journey, I've been through numerous of obstacles. Sometimes I feel like giving up along the journey. You can imagine if you were in my shoes, you've tried so hard in your studies, attempted all the questions, study everyday, but it's just your desires are not just that simple to achieve. Alhamdulillah, I've managed to score my tests recently but rather somehow I don't have that kinda high level of confidence to score well in my finals.

It's just I can't barely even set a good target for finals. Overall, I can answered my finals except I think I screwed up one paper. It's just a bad feeling when most of your friends are able to do well in examinations and they are just simply effortless. I know some of my friends who likes to hang up on the phone till midnight but still can score well in tests etc. 

Ze roomate

I would usually fill up my days will full of anxiety and sometimes I could almost depress in whatever I do. I would eagerly study when everyone is sleeping during the evening, cause I'm know I ain't that genius. I need to work hard to be establish as anyone could. I've known my standing. It's just I need to work hard, and patience.

Being a student who is bonded to MARA sponsorship is not an easy task I would say. Everybody has a super damn high expectations on you. Even at times, I think I just misfit in KMKN. 

But then I've realised, I know Allah is watching over me. I know Allah saw my efforts. I know Allah is fair. And I almost forget the formula of DUIT that stands for doa, usaha, ikhtiar and tawakal. Doa, usaha and ikhtiar are my usual routines but I tend to forget tawakal. Reliance on Allah. 

Dear Najwa Amira,

I know life in KMKN has been hard for you,

You even think that you've misfit in the institution,

But you need to strongly believe in Allah's wisdom.

Allah tahu yang terbaik untuk hambanya,
Barangkali kau mempersoalkan kemampuan kau,
Mungkin kau tak segeliga kawan-kawan kau,
Mungkin selama ni kau skor sebab kau bernasib baik,
Mungkin kau rasa kau tak bijak,
Tetapi yakinlah dengan qada' dan qadar Allah.
Allah tempatkan kau di sana,
Yakinlah tempat kau di kolej.
Sebab Allah tahu kau boleh melakukannya.

Ingat Allah, Mira.
Kembali kepada Allah.
Have a srong faith in Allah's wisdom.
Allah sedang menguji kau.
Allah uji kau sikit je.
Dengan segala nikmat dan kemewahan yang kau dapat,
Takkan kau nak mengeluh dengan ujian yang seciput tu?

Mana Mira dahulu yang tak pernah kenal erti putus asa?
Penat lelah?
Mana Najwa Amira yang dahulu?
Come back Najwa Amira.
Be positive and have reliance on Allah.

Najwa Amira,

Do you remember what your best friend told you before you entered KMKN?

"Najwa, kat sana nanti awak jangan fokus sangat kena compete dengan budak-budak MRSM/SBP semua tu. Apa yang penting, awak fikirkan untuk buat yang terbaik. Insya Allah Allah akan nampak usaha awak. Kalau tak awak akan rasa down" - Debator friend

Memang kita cepat down pun. Need to bear in my mind your advice, Izzati. Whatever happens, you've done your job Mira. Biar Allah pula lakukan tugasNya. May I remain in college till I complete my foundation. Amin.