Sunday, October 11, 2015

Road Back to Allah

In the name of Allah, most gracious and most merciful, I begin my post with.

As it may sound cliche and most people do, I will turn to back to Allah during the hardships of my life. When times are indeed happy and life seems to be so good, no one feels obliged to turn towards His Deen .It's all about living the moment.

Why am I writing this? Something came up to me last morning. I lost something valuable, which was not really extremely valuable but it can cost me a fast food. Since I am the type of person who is hard-to-let-go kind of girl, of course it was a challenging day for me to accept.

I kept looking in my pocket, bag, wardrobe and everywhere but it was gone. I remembered very well I placed in my pocket and probably I accidentally lost it somewhere in the mall. 

I came back home with a full tensed written on my face, freaked out and felt like I just lost my daughter. Though it's just a some amount of money. So there I sat, in silence and istighfar. Silence is overwhelmingly loud when you gather your chaotic thoughts, I whispered to myself. How did this happen? What if I didn't bring the money along? It wouldn't happened this way.

Maybe it is kind of reminder from Allah. Maybe Allah misses me. Maybe Allah wants to reconnect with me. I nod my head.

I remembered before my finals, I will recite Yassin everyday, practice solat hajat and so on. But when I came home, I seems to be left everything in college. Sometimes I even left my prayer times at home. Astagfirullahalazim. Then I started to realized my mistakes. During that time, I knew Allah still loves me. I mean, relationship with Allah it's not when you're having a crucial occasion, but actually you need to connect with Allah till the rest of your life. Whether it is during hardship or good times, always run back to Allah. Our creator.

Often, the things you brought you happiness are the cause of your pain and emptiness. It was bad for us, we just couldn't see until it cut into pieces. The heartaches of this world are here to remind us what we should never have attached our hearts than anything to anything other than The Creator than the first place. We search for someone who will understand and ease our pains, we cling to the creation in desperation.

Allah has told us that He is the Best Planners. Sometimes things aren't meant for us right now, their pieces don't fit. Eventually, it will fall into places. One by one, like a jigsaw.

“and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:216)

Not to worry my dear, Mira. You'll gain a better reward, Insya Allah.

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